christopher porterfield (conrad plymouth)

this is a guy from the Minnesota i just found tonight. he put out some good solo tunes on a recent release that came out the august 25.
i haven't yet listened to every song but check it out its rather good.


http://conradplymouth.bandcamp.com/

if you wanna find yourself by settlin' out west

so i just moved from the house ive lived in for the last 3 and a half years. and im just realizing how bug of a deal it is to move, i mean its like starting over. seriously the first day i got to the house i was all excited until i realized i didnt have anything no towels, toilet paper, hand soap, cups, plates, sheets... nothing! it was a little weird.

im getting moved in though. tomorrow my dad is coming by and helping me move some odd and end things and then we're going to dinner (YAY free food!).

its a nice place its just different. having lived in the same house with the same roommates for over three years and now moving out, starting up in a new place is just going to take some getting used to. i no longer have a yard or a driveway or any of that house type stuff but now i have maintenance people! so i dont have to fix my leaking sink or my warm refrigerator.

i am committed to this house though its suppose to be a communal type house where i can live intentionally with other people, in this case younger leaders, in order to grow closer to both God and each other. i am really hoping that this plan works and that all my prayers for this house are answered and that we can use our apt to build up community in InterVarsity.

i have really been wanting to blog but its been over a month since i last did it which is a little discouraging but i think i will make it happen! i just got to keep working at it.

anyway i think thats it for today. i need to go to bed!

late fathers day post... WAY late

happy fathers day dad!

how many times have you heard someone say

i know... it has been forever. three posts before this one was seriously over a year ago (yes jen and are are now past the two year mark and are now moving into our third - that post will come soon i am sure) and so much has happened. i am 22, aidan has taken his first step and is already talking during church, matthew has a new car, i have a new guitar (and consequently a new obsession), i graduate in a year and have yet to receive God's letter in the mail... you know the one that tells me everything that is going to happen so i can stop stressing over making the wrong decisions about life, i stopped cooking and started discovering delicious restaurants (and broke my bank), spent time in north carolina, started the harry potter series, honestly too much to talk about...
corey...jacob...jeremey...alyssa...jordan... ALL GETTING MARRIED! (kyle and karisa are ALREADY MARRIED!!!!!!) life has happened and then happened again... (this is starting to sound super cheesy... its a little odd.)
anyway needless to say, like i am assuming everyone else my life has been interesting over the last year and i feel like this is probably the only time i'm going to write about it all; i do feel however that, despite my previous failure at any thing blog, i would like to make an attempt at tackling this again. REDEMPTION!!
i really want to do it! i know i have said that a lot in the past but i really do want to do it - for real... i wanted to do it for real all the other times too... we will see. blogging does seem rather narcissistic though, which is weird. i don't know i keep fighting myself over it. i will try it for a little while i really want to blog ha ha i feel like that is a strange desire, to write, publicly, about the things that are living inside my head so others can read them and tell me how stupid i sound etc. but sometimes i feel like its a really good medium and this is the main reason i am coming back to it; a medium to express the things in my head.

...

recently i have really been trying to seek God. i have been dealing with a lot of issues (really just one main issue that will not be discussed in this post as it is after midnight and i'm tired however it may be discussed later) and have been trying to seek guidance and comfort from Him instead of being dependent on affirmation and acceptance from people and stressing out trying to please everyone while reasoning with myself to figure out what God wants and analyzing "His will" without actually consulting Him.
this is a current prayer of mine found in george harrison's "my sweet Lord"

My sweet lord
Hm, my lord
Hm, my lord

I really want to see you
Really want to be with you
Really want to see you lord
But it takes so long, my lord

My sweet lord
Hm, my lord
Hm, my lord

I really want to know you
Really want to go with you
Really want to show you lord
That it won't take long, my lord

all things lovely only hurt my head.

sometimes i honestly question what it is that i am doing.
seriously.

what am i doing

i don't know where i am suppose to be or what i am suppose to be doing.
i guess right now "wait, this is just a season" would be the most common answer i would hear from all the people with more wisdom then i have...
have you ever wanted to forget what those people say? i am old enough to drink i am old enough to make my own decisions... if only i knew what decision to make.

maybe this is the stress talking
maybe this is just my burden

maybe this is just me wanting to run away...

i wanted that almost exactly a year ago, i drove 3000 miles to nowhere and slept out in the cold. i remember, during that time, sitting with a dear friend
on the banks of a lake as still as death,
and as quiet as a library
or an empty church.

i want that lake right now.
i want calmness.

i guess this is just my lesson
so i guess this is another opportunity to wait and see what happens

...

well i can see it as time and a sight through smell and
that's why its nice to be by yourself

'cause that's what i'm waiting for
that's what i'm waiting for
that's what i'm waiting for, aren't i?